Initiated Episode 4: Patience

I have made many, many jokes on the podcast about what an awful student I was to my primary teacher. And I deserve the mockery. Of the five years that I studied with her at least two of them were spent learning one thing: patience. Again and again, every time we met for instruction, the lesson would be the same despite the magnitude of my frustration: I needed to learn to slow down, to be more present, and to release the bounty of expectations I had regarding the speed I thought things should be happening at in my life.

It took a long, long time for me to clue in that she wasn’t going to shift out of this teaching until I had really engaged with it, but I am so grateful she was willing to be patient with me through this (surely arduous) process. Once I really understood patience and the value of practicing it, so much in my life changed.

Patience is something that our ancestors spoke frequently and seriously of, and has been viewed as one of the great virtues of a human being throughout history, and for good reason: a life lived with patience is a life lived largely without anxiety, frustration, and fear, and with an increased sense of faith and belonging within the system we exist as a part of. Patience is, seen one way, an expression of our trust that an intelligence larger than our own is guiding the process at hand, and that we are not necessarily the ones that know what is best or right for ourselves all the time. Patience is deeply connected to faith.

I feel that with the advent and increasing capacity of technology, patience, like many virtues, has been cast to the side and replaced with ‘moving fast and breaking things’, or with the tendency to think it’s entirely appropriate to make demands of the world and other people simply because we feel entitled to do so. I realize this sounds judgemental, but our technology has inflated our egos and encouraged us to think that making demands of the world, our bodies, and each other is entirely appropriate, and that impatience, ironically, and raging at the world is actually the virtuous work.

I disagree, and in this week’s episode I’m going to plead the case for why I still believe that patience is a critical skill and capacity on the initiatory path, and must be something readily available to us if we are to inhabit the space of authentic adulthood. I hope you enjoy.